Little Known Truths

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Little Known Truths

One would think it would be genetic or at least something we picked up in the playgrounds or in elementary bathroom talk but apparently there needs to be constant reminders telling our generation how to do things. These are not racial things, these are not generational things, these are not how things should be done in the South, these are not Americanisms, these are worldwide, since-the-beginning-of-time, truths that need to be identified by all mankind.

1) Real Men Don’t Line Dance
2) Cars & trucks not one of the colors found on a mallard duck are for girls
3) Everyone over the age of 12 should shoot a gun (at least once)
4) Soap operas should only be aired during the day
5) The 3-piece suit is for dead people and fancy car salesmen
6) Never set combination locks to 1-2-3-4
7) You’re not obligated to attend 2, 3, or 4th weddings (or buy gifts)
8) If your best friend calls after midnight, you have to answer
9) Other than that, you don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings
10) If you can’t identify the dumbest guy in the room, its you
11) There are 2 acceptable places for glasses on your body
12) Unless blind, sunglasses are for outdoor use only
13) Medical scrubs are for Halloween and hospitals
14) If you ever start a sentence with “I shouldn’t be saying this” then stop talking
15) Never sit on the front or last row of church
16) There are only two things open after 1am. Neither are good for your teenagers
17) Baseball hats should only have 2-4 words printed on them
18) Don’t name your kid after an exotic dancer or a season
(Autumn, Candy, Spring, Fantasia)
19) Cowbells & spray paint only are good for their original purpose
20) God has a sense of humor (see Aardvarks, Oklahoma, Dennis Rodman, TV evangelists)
21) Every pickup line has been heard by the person your telling it to
22) $1,000 rims and tires on a Hyundai, still makes your car a Hyundai
23) Most “good ole boys” aren’t really good old boys
24) There are only two good things that ever came out of Arizona and one was just driving through
25) Beware of commercials ended by an auctioneer

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