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Beware the Fine Print

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Eutromin has a low occurrence of side effects including dry mouth, metallic taste, and ringing in the ears. A small number of patients experienced the following common side effects:

Watery eyes, loose stools, diarrhea, abdominal cramps, headaches, nausea, vomiting, nose bleeds, indigestion, esophageal spasms, constipation, inability to urinate, loss of sensation in the extremities, severe sexual side effects, loss of some motor control, impaired speech, drooling, demonic possession, hair loss, tooth loss, unattractive body hair, acne on soles of feet, frequent urination, frequent uncontrollable sneezing, sudden loss of bladder control, seizures, tingling sensation in eyelids, scales on back of neck, loud flatulence, irreversible brain damage, double vision, rectal inflammation, strong body odor, more vomiting, momentary loss of sight, complete deafness, depression, mania, obsessive compulsive behavior, insomnia, sleep apnea, tremors, high anxiety, kleptomania, loss of eternal soul, inability to grasp elementary physics, multiple personality disorder, delusions of grandeur, violent fits of rage, and drowsiness.
Male users also notice the following effects:

Rectal bleeding, Rectal seepage, Rectal spasms, Rectal cramps, Rectal blisters, Rectal sores, Rectal hemorrhaging, minor Rectal leprosy, and overall sever Rectal discomfort.

Users over the age of twelve also notice the following effects:

Mongoloidism, Loss of Salvation, and boils.

Warning: Not to be taken with food or water. Avoid sunlight and high contents of air for 48 hours after intake. See your doctor immediately if you notice any bodily noises, such as ear drainage, sinus cavity collapse, lung collapse, progressive gain green on or near the face, rapid cavity development (usually with in the first 3 hours) or knee cap failure.

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